Mathematical Brothers

Q: There are three brothers. The name of middle one is "chotu". So what is the name of other two?


A: cho1 & cho3

Intelligent Sardar

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike.
He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says,What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the sardarji.Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off thebike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains the sardarji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross theborder.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbalasks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Sardaji.Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to the sardaji, and crosses the border on his bike.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, the sardaji, doesn't show up one day and theguard meets him in a 'dhaba' in Islamabad.'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'






The sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes.'

How to kill a lion By? .....Companies!!!

No offences to anybody.. just enjoy


Cognizant Method:
hire a lion...
ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit. give them same gobi 65 to eat hire 200 more....... and more .......
lion dies due 2 too much eating n less exercise!!!

TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method:
Hire a Cat;
give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

Bosch method:
hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
he will die eventually of frustration...

IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in a n hour ...
he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain

i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow,
tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories,
tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:
hire a lion .tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and
reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of be coming CAT.....

Patni method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....

Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!

Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi speaking ppl...
No good food No water..
and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
...................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPRE EXAM
...........................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPRE EXAM
..................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
..........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE ...

Where r u from?

Scenario 1:
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.
You are in........Kolkata

Scenario 2:
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's.............Mumbai

Scenario 3:
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.
That's.........Delhi

Scenario 4:
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall.
That's..........Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5:
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's.........Bangalore

Scenario 6:
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace comes in.
That's.........Chennai.

Scenario 7:
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Soon, 50 guys are fighting.
You are DEFINITELY IN PUNJAB

James Bond

On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.

Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond"
Continuing in his inimitable style,
"......James Bond."
Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James"

Banta Singh writes 2 Bill Gates

Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1.After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account andwhenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. Wechecked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there isno problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2.We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3.There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4.We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run'has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5.One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I findonly 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6.There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7.Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8.Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my hometo collect ur money.

9.My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

10.Whta is this, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad lekhinthere is only one icon with 'MY Computer', where are the remainings?

11.This is strange, you say 'MY Pictures' but there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

Pls respond as early as possible